Oh for feck’s sake!

God no!

More illiteracy!

Damned annoying when the Ower is on holiday!

Food With Friend’s

In Brighton on a very rainy and windy Bank Holiday Monday and we were searching for somewhere warm to sit. Decided to go into a sort of funky left-wing organic coffee shop for an afternoon tea:

Looks like they sort of tried to erase the apostrophe on “tea’s” but probably left it because they weren’t sure.

Idiots.

And when do you actually BAKE tea? I use a kettle. That’s probably why I can rustle up a nice cup of tea in 2 minutes for less than 5p, and theirs cost £4.99!!!!

So, a vegan cafe.

I wanted bacon.

Did they offer it?

Did they bugger!

It’s always the same with these people isn’t it? They come over to you for dinner and YOU are expected to cook something vegetarian or vegan or some other stupid thing, as well as meat ahoy for yourselves, but go round to theirs for dinner and do THEY cook up a rack of ribs or a nice leg of lamb for YOU? Ha, do they fuck.

So next time any veganist comes around mine they’ll get what I’m cooking. MEAT. Don’t like it, well go drink some tea’s with bacon in it!

Waterstone’s Illiteracy

Oh my god. What store or bunch of people do you think would be expected to be able to spell the word AUTHOR correctly?

Difficult question, isn't it? How about a BOOK STORE?

Well, not the one in the Croydon Whitgift centre, that’s for sure. I’m sure the AUTHOR coming along to sign his book wouldn’t be overly impressed:

I’m sure Boris is turning in his grave!

Holidays in School Time

So the commie Michael Grove is now trying to further his top-down governance model on schools by inforcing a “NO HOLIDAYS DURING TERM TIME” edict.

Hmm.

Ok, I suppose if you believe that TEACHERS actually TEACH and don’t INDONTRONATE. Which is incredulous!  Teachers actually teaching? FFS. Don’t make me laugh!

So, Grove. You fuck off sharpish, like.

Read some of James Higham’s stuff on education. Very interesting!

TEACHERS are scum. Hang them. Hang them all!

Cum werk wiv arsz

Yes, the local hardware shop has closed down then re-opened about 3 months later with a bunch of fucking illiterate wankstains.

As wankstains, they are obviously looking to hire the same sort as they are. There are 5 of these hand-scrawled abortions on the windows….

 

If you want to contact as on those numbers. Please feel free. And plug this blog while you are at it, please. I need the readership!

I had to stop, and take the picture. I’m sorry.

Award-winning Irish Pub….

Oh dear. Clare and I visited Doolin, and went to the award-winning pub called Gus O’Connor’s.  Quite a famous one in fact.

Very very nice food indeed. Lots of crack. Or is it Craic?

Anyways, I digress….

As this is tagged Illiteracy, there’s a rant coming.

What word, vegetable-related, do you think a famous Irish pub would be able to spell? Think Ireland, think…. potatoes.

So what do they go and do?

Yes.

A fecking Baked Jacket Potatoe indeed.

God, give me strength!

But, if you ever go, do try the Steamed Mussels – just don’t order anything else, FFS. It is bloody enormous!

If you prefer meaty things, go for the Beef & Guinness Stew. That’s about half a cow.

Get your hair’s cut hear!

I’m sure the same guy did the menu at Gus O’Connor’s.

North Herts Leisure Centre

Took girls up to the little cafe above the swimming pool for a dinner-y treat, only to be confounded by extreme apostrophe abuse, again!

This time with Italian wraps:

Arseholes!

Menue’s’s from hell

Oh God.

Oh well, just be warned.

I took my gorgeous girlfriend out for a well-deserved breakfast this morning. Open the menu…. OMG. Instant insanity photo blog issues!

But, the omelette was very lovely and loads and loads of salad etc.

Too much to finish. Even I was full from my double sausage, egg and chips.

But, I must say, it wasn’t as delish as the one she cooked for me the other week. Now that was a delicious omelette. I have never ever tasted anything so lovely. Even my dad may have possibly liked it (without complaining tooo much….) *1

And to be honest, why would you really want to have chips with your omelette?

 

 

 

*1 Actually, he’d have hated it as it’s foreign stuff. And where is the gravy?

Nail’s

I’m not surprised they’ve had to close, to be honest. Another bunch of illiterate idiots!

Don’t be going Spanish now!

Down with this sort of thing! Spotted in a Spanish restaurant in East London the other day. I had to stop. I had to.

I don’t know what a FAJITAS’S is/are, but I’m sure it will be pretty rancid and smell of fish.

They are mental.

Brighton Idiot’s Cannae ‘Spell

I want one of theyre pizza’s.

But why aren’t they selling potatoe’s?

It’s New Year!

Yay! I’ve been going for 4 years! God, that’s depressing. I’ve made major inroads into the Blogo-sphere-thing. I have at least a, um, 2 or 3 regular readers. However, none of them actually leave any comments. That and the 20 million people who seem to know me but all live in Nigeria and want to give me 5 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS, all in capitals, so it must be real.

Arse.

Anyway, here are my NYPs:

1) Another Euro panic, with the EU trying to grab even more power. No country will leave the EURO but the UK will meekly borrow more money we don’t have in order to prop up profligate socialist paradises….

2) Ireland elect a new government who will slavishly follow what the last lot of useless gobshites signed up to re ECB/IMF,

3) “Climate Change” continues, with more fucking twat taxes hiked up on the meek UK public. Nobody notices. 2011 winter starts earlier and even more snow.

4) EU carbon policies close more UK power stations. Pensioners freeze to death in the thousands as the windmills don’t work. Nobody cares.

5) Vince Cable gets eviscerated by crack whores.

6) The average price of a UK train ticket per mile now exceeds the cost of going to the moon. Daily Mail explodes.

7) Students riot over nothing they understand and are viciously Kettled by the police again. Student Union raises “enforced cleanliness” as a human rights abuse at European Court. Union Rep not allowed in to present case due to infringing EU directive of armpit stink. A sole student realises than crapping on important British monuments isn’t the best way to raise public sympathy for the cause, shortly before being bludgeoned to death for showing free will and independent thinking. Daily Mail is happy.

8) UK interest rates raised to 5% by August. Nobody joins dots between QE and hugely inflated import prices.

9) Daily Mail explodes over Swine Flu imported by Filthy Foreigners on Benefits.

10) Coalition collapses following discovery of Vince Cable’s eviscerated body and Ian Duncan Smith’s DNA all over the place.

11) EU Power Grab doesn’t force a referendum. Immigration causes Daily Mail to appoint Achmed Al-Alababilibil as new editor. Daily Mail calls for Sharia law.

12) Everything goes to hell in a handcart. Nobody cares. As they have all frozen to death from not being able to afford 900% unilateral increase in energy prices to fight “Climate Change”

13) Chris Hune ends up in last remaining Mental Asylum, shortly before it is closed and turned into a Mosque.

Don’t go to this Magistrates’ Court–they know nothing about grammar!

Ok, on way back from hospital appointment on Friday and came across this interesting sign.

What does it mean? I’m all confused now.

Is there just one magistrate, and thus should read Magistrate’s Court, or are there a bunch of minging magistrates in which case it would need to read Magistrates’ Court?

Arseheads!!!!

WTF Pizza!

What is Sarsage?

And I would love to eat the potato shine. If I knew what the hell it was, of course. Yum. Maybe they can add some sarsage to it.

And to those of you who think I just trawl around the internets looking for spelling errors, well, maybe you have something there.

http://www.pizzapizzabaldock.co.uk/pizzamenu.php

Big company is mental!

Another bout of stupidity on a mass-produced corporate thing. You’d think that by employing some 65,000 people, somebody would have proof read this.

But maybe they did. And that’s worrying!

Wildlife Park Advert Fail!

If you are ever near Shepreth, please don’t go to their wildlife park. Why? Roaming badgers playing the vuvuzela backwards? Hoards of randy giraffes attacking the donkey population?

No, it’s worse than all that put together and stapled to David Mellor.

Apostrophe abuse.

Yes, you can book Birthday Party’s here. Like if you’d want to. I would like my kids to grow up with some vague sense of right and wrong, to find the right guy and settle down, open a sandwich shop that sells paninis, teas and coffees, and not ONCE even thinks about paying that little bit extra for the apostrophe to be added.

Look, you don’t say you have owl’s, tiger’s, donkey’s and rabbit’s, do you? So take your party’s and shove them up your left nostril!!!!

Sandwich Shop’s

Hello. Don’t visit this shop.

Not unless you want to have some god damned panini’s. Fuck. And this place is owned by the husband of a teacher at my girls’ school! Maybe she liked marrying a moron.

Still, at least he didn’t have more than 1 specials.

Oh.

Oops. He did.

Do people never think these days?

Telegraph Newspaper Online Idiots

Yep, even the on-line dead tree press are still employing illiterate airbenders, aren’t they? Yes, says the so-called journalist* but it passed the spell checker. Effing moron. With nobs on.

 

* as in can copy / paste from Wikipedia without engaging brain. Here’s the Independent doing a nice splash about the history of The Bill Chill Festival which used to be called the Wanky Balls Festival, don’t you know?