Pay As You Throw Bin Taxes

Oh good. I hear that the government is to press ahead with the idea that the more rubbish you generate the more you have to pay in taxes. Of course, it's not us that generate the rubbish that we throw away. I don't believe I have a plastics manufacturing plant in my shed. I don't make tons of cardboard and those little twisty bits of metal that festoon barbie dolls.

No, we don't have a choice here. It comes as part of the item. Buy a bag of apples and you get a plastic bag thing. Buy some "Turkey Drumsticks" from a certain B Matthews and you get a little plastic tray, covered in plastic wrapping and a bit of cardboard.

Buy a flat-packed bit of furniture and you get more polystyrene bits than it would take to kill 2 dozen swans. I know. I've done it!

So let's come up with a way of ripping more bloody tax out of us, thinks the government. Ignore that Glasgow East drubbing we got in the election and where we said we'd listen. That was all a bunch of big hairy cocks. No, we're going to lose the next election so we will punnish the electorate before the event by taxing them to death. Haha. et cetera.

So we can see what will happen:

1) People will start dumping their rubbish in other people's bins.
2) Flytipping increases.
3) More rats and whatnot.
4) More council tax needed for pest control.
5) And bin inspectors.
6) Council starts fining people for putting their bins out too early / late / not aligned at a 34.55 degree angle to the nearest lamppost.
7) Council tax receipts fall as people start hanging politicians from lampposts and refusing to pay.
8) All murderers and rapists released from prison to accommodate the people not paying council tax. Murderers and rapists move into your home and smash everything up.
10) There is no nine.

Something like that. Of course, once the revenue stream for bin taxes is maximised then the shitty little politicians will go for something else. A pay as you dump tax instead. Just think, hundreds of Poo Inspectors riffling through your turds to discover whether you've had your 5 a day vegetables. "Oooh look, Mr Smith of 25 The Avenue hasn't eaten enough sweetcorn today. Ooooh! That's a £50 fine!"