Sunday, 27 February 2011

First Posting from Teh Pad

Hello. I am here.

Well, it certainly was a fun journey down here. All well and good until I’m using the “step free access to the northern line” which seems that if you take the “Northern Line Ticket Hall” entrance doesn’t actually take you to the Northern Line via step free.

Ok, says I after getting down the lift 1 level, I’ll ask this dude in a London Underground uniform.

“Hello!” says me, “Where’s the lift to the Northern Line platforms please?”

“…..” he responds. I have obviously just awakened his brain from sleep mode.

“Er, “ he says, wiping drool from his mouth, “You need to go to the opposite end of the station, mate” He looks yonder. “Oh you can go on the escalator, it’s only a short one”

So off I go to the escalator with my two big cases and rucksack. Just as I’m on it, and trying to arrange said cases a little, the bloody thing judders to a halt and I go arse over tit down 1 step. Now I’ve hurt my shoulder and, more importantly, my pride.

So then it’s tube to London Bridge which, as the sticker says, is also step free access. Yeah, balls. The lift takes you out way down on Borough High Street.

Ok, so just a little walk for me. In theory. Unfortunately, the route from the exit to London Bridge station is along a narrowed path due to building work. And my two cases are wider than the path. ARSE!

So now what, pride-wise I might as well be naked on the road, scraping my arse in the gutter. Picture this, I’m dripping with sweat, pulling along two cases, both of which keep over-turning and me with the right Col face ™ on.

Eventually, in what should have been a 3 minute stroll, I arrive and look for my train…..

…and it’s on time and not packed. So on I get. 18 mins later I am getting off at East Croydon, pulling my cases to the tram stop. Tram arrives. I get on. 7 mins later I am at Teh Pad™

Yay! So a quick run down to Tescos for bedding thingies and I’m all sorted. All I need to do now is to drink the 4 little bottles of beer that my new landlord has left for me as a welcoming gift and then kick back ‘n’ relax….

Friday, 25 February 2011

Gah! Gah! Gaaaaaaaah!!!

Busy packing stuff up for my big move back to Lon Don tomorrow. Actually, it’s not London at all but leafy Surrey. Ok, it’s Croy Don. A nice big room, kitchen type thing with sofa and telly (as well as pot noodle storage facilities).

Ah, well.

Ave atque vale to my former existence up in Hertfordshire.

As nice as it was, and I did have wonderful times with my two little gorgeous girls, things transpired as they tend to do and I’m leaving to go discover myself again. Odd, really. All these years. And for the last 2 months I’ve discovered a lot of things. I have discovered so much that I never believed I was. I have found friends I never thought to look for. I have found the confidence in myself that I was sure was never there, but was. And I have found the chance to love myself*.

Still, the future is there for those of us brave enough to grasp it. And both my hands are full.

Next time I post will be from Col’s Pad ™



* no, not like that you dirty feckers!

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Move your ass!

Well, saw a place in what is known as “East Croydon” which, I hear, is “South” of “Teh Rivah” in the sunny hamlet of Lon Don.

So that’s where I’ll be for the foreseeable future.

Which, I might add, is looking rather good. Well, very very good actually.

It’s in the “nice” part of Croy Don, which means far fewer stabbings, murders and unfortunate accidents with pot noodles.


And the little place I’m renting will have a rocking chair.


Best whip out my knitting and get going on that enormous hat I’ve always wanted!

If you want to stay over, please send £5 to me care of Teh Idiot. Hah hahahahhaa. Insane screaming.

Monday, 7 February 2011

He’s off on one again

Bibble bibble wobble etc!!!!