Monday, 28 December 2009

No more sprouts'

My wife has eaten 3 dozen sprouts, washed down with a bunch of pickled
onions and 2 kg of stuffing.

She is currently encased in concrete and dumped into a nuclear fuel
storage facility in Nebraska.

As if! The smell thing is right next to me and I think my nose has
melted off!!!!!!!!

Sunday, 27 December 2009

How much for a fucking turkey?

Our local Tesco was selling turkey things for a god awful expensive amount. I picked up a Turkey Crown (which is tits on bone to be honest) and a 1.5 kg lump of this cost £21 earth quids. FFS.

There’s only me, the Wife (tm) and the 2 kids to feed. It lasted 1.3 meals. FFS!

On the other hand, the cheapo Bernardo Mathews Bird in a Frozen Box was £5 (or 2 of the bastards for £9 squids). One of the boxes fed us all, and left some scraps for the cats.

So, lessons learned for 2010:

1) Buy a Bernardo0 Mathews Bird in a Frozen Box

2) Avoid Eggnog. It is just wrong.

3) Don’t fly anywhere on a Christian festival for fear of the Religion Of Pieces.


Monday, 26 October 2009

I’ve been absent recently

Sorry for the non-posts. I’ve had a few personal issues that I had to resolve. They are now resolved. So there are no barriers to me posting now. As you can see, I  have already posted some stuff that has annoyed me over the last week or so. With the Tesco employing idiots and having to train them up to be better idiots issue (FAIL) to the killer truck driver stuff, well. Huh. Arse and barnacles!


Local Government Fuckwits

There’s a £10 prize fund to the first person who can decipher what the hell this sign means:



Illiterate cnuts!

Here’s one for the murdering truck driver’s:



Get your fucking HGV’s and your own STI’s out of my yard!

Tesco Cafe Illiteracy!

Following on from a previous post about Tesco stupidity, here’s a pic from their in-store cafe….


Machine’s, eh? WTF? Go and get a fucking education. It’s not difficult.

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Suffer the little Chiledren’s

Ok, with today’s release of stats saying that x% of kids in primary schools haven’t made the grade in English, is this (below) any fucking wonder why?


I mean, what the fuck is this shit all about? CHILDRENS????? And then they wonder why their SATS are so shit?

Fucking get a grip, you useless teaching teachers wank bastard cunts!

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

G20 letdown

What a bore nothing happened. Never even saw one of the unwashed ones

Come on you wimps! Riot or something! Let the cops start shooting you
so I can save some tax!

G20 update

Bugger all happening where I am (Liverpool street ) very poor show.

Plenty of helicopters (news and plod)

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

G20 riots

Ok so I haven't posted anything in a while as I've been far too busy
earning money and paying large amounts of tax to the government so
they can piss it up the wall on bullshit bank nationalization and
burkha wearing firewomen.

So from tomorrow I will be documenting my journey into work in the
square mile fighting against the Great Unwashed twats on their G20
riots. Should be a fun trip. Let's see how many I can wind up.

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Slob !

Omg! Waynetta slob has just boarded my train and sat far too bloody
close to me!!!!

I am now going to vomit my guts up!


Sunday, 1 February 2009

More Idiots and Signs

Walking  from work to the tube station the other day I came across this sign:

stupid sign

No more disabled access. It is now “Ambulant”. Yes, I can see it now, “Look, mum, there’s a bunch of those ambulant wankers in their wheelchairs. Let’s go punch them in the face!”

But, aside from the stupid name, can you see what else is wrong with the sign?

Ambulant. Ambulant. Hmmm….


adj : able to walk about; "the patient is ambulatory" [syn: {ambulatory}]

Yes, another case of being both a dipshit and insulting to the disabled too. Nice one, thickos!Ambulant. Hmmm….

Idiot’s in Charge of ‘Sign’s at King’s Cro’s’s

Yes, the same bloody bunch of idiots who concocted this sign for our local Tescos have been employed by the stupid fuckwits at Kings Cross station in London to abuse the English language.

They have surpassed themselves this time. Not only have they entirely forgotten about capitalising new sentences, they have not bothered about ending them correctly too:

apostrophe outrage 2

So, not only do we have the usual CCTV camera’s, we now have to huff and puff our way through the “sentence” above.

Not only has this resulted in my blood pressure going through the roof yet again, but next to the above sign is this one:

apostrophe outrage 3

Presumably this is because once I have gone into a rage I just need to find out where the taxi’s are, to get home and write this blog.

Please send me any other outrageous abuses to the usual place.

Saturday, 24 January 2009

BBC Supporting Hamas Terrorists

Here we go again. We are forced to pay a Licence Fee which supposedly is to ensure the integrity and independence of the BBC, providing informative programmes and unbiased news as well as quality entertainment.


What we are doing is supporting a loony leftie organisation that is so biased towards everything anti-west that it is quite unbelievable that they get away with it. The Biased BBC blog will give you all the low down on these deranged parasitic wankers.

Now, after the orgasmic spurtings after their favourite Islamic terrorists Hamas’ victory over Israel (who gave up the fight), these BBC twats now want to raise money to “rebuild” the schools and hospitals that were destroyed by the evil jews.

Of course, nobody mentions that these would be the same schools, hospitals and, indeed, mosques that were used as missile launch sites and weapons storage facilities by the terrorists.

So what the BBC is doing is raising money for the terrorists.

Fucking ace.

How the fuck do I go around withholding my licence fee?

UPDATE: Oops, seemed to get the wrong end of the stick on this one. The BBC is "opposing" demands that it show this evil fundraising event. Apologies over that. However, I think they will give in and show it. Al-Bowen will be wetting himself over the entire affair.

Council Tax : Pay less if a chav

Oh look, another bit of social buggeryaboutery from the Labour “Government”.

Council tax levy for being middle class: Labour plan to base bills on social background

So, not only are they busy fucking up the country by taking on enormous debts, they are now trying to cause even more social unrest by effectively saying “If you are middle class you probably vote for the Tories so we are going to right royally fuck you up by charging you more for fuck all local services, and get you to subsidise our core voters! Hahah!”

Shadow local government spokesman Caroline Spelman said: 'No one would dispute that council tax for a large detached house should be more than for a small terrace.

'But it is unfair to hit families with higher council tax bills purely because of who they are.

But then this Spelman woman is the same one caught paying her Nanny with taxpayers’ money. So ignore her.

Friday, 16 January 2009

Bastard seat hog

First post for quite a while, sorry. But I am sitting next to a bsh on
the train home. Now why the fuck does he want to sit sideways with his
back pressed so far over onto my seat he might as well sit on top of
me, the bastard twat head?

What do I do ? Punch the fucker in the head or just ignore it and hope
it dies?

Bastard seat hogging moron tit!