Monday, 30 May 2011

Fucking idiots

Apologies for the swearing, but Germany have just announced they are going to close down their economy and become a bunch of stick-rubbing twats by 2022.

Yes, because some disaster has befallen our Japanese fiends, the Germans are now going to go complete Gaia mental.

Good luck with that.

You stupid stupid twats.

Fuck knows how they will keep those pesky light bulbs glowing.

Maybe they can burn some more jews or something like that.

France? Well, they aren’t complete knobheads. Yet……..

Shopping for Tings

I am on cloud 10. Cloud 9 got a bit too busy with smelly people with pull-along wardrobes.

Went shopping today for things. Things were done and dusted. Chosen. Selected. Photographed. Almost pornographed, but I don’t have one of those. At least I don’t think I do.

I am old, those annoying chest hairs keep coming up as completely white. What’s with that? Balls. Um.


Well, in time. In time.






I have no idea if anybody reads my ramblings. But I will still ramble on and on and on…..

Menue’s’s from hell

Oh God.

Oh well, just be warned.


I took my gorgeous girlfriend out for a well-deserved breakfast this morning. Open the menu…. OMG. Instant insanity photo blog issues!

But, the omelette was very lovely and loads and loads of salad etc.

Too much to finish. Even I was full from my double sausage, egg and chips.

But, I must say, it wasn’t as delish as the one she cooked for me the other week. Now that was a delicious omelette. I have never ever tasted anything so lovely. Even my dad may have possibly liked it (without complaining tooo much….) *1

And to be honest, why would you really want to have chips with your omelette?




*1 Actually, he’d have hated it as it’s foreign stuff. And where is the gravy?

Sunday, 29 May 2011



I’m not surprised they’ve had to close, to be honest. Another bunch of illiterate idiots!

Friday, 27 May 2011

FGFGKJGWEKGRWKEURIWTERT!!!!! (Blood Pressure Warning: Sharon Shoesmith is a C**t)

Right, this Sharon Shoesmith cow. I mean. For fuck’s sake. How badly must you fuck up in life to get a kicking and then get into the frame for a huge multimillion pay-out???

Fuck the fuck off! With nobs on!

The judiciary are a bunch of complete and utter cunts. The fact that this brazen bitch has even the guts to contest her dismissal is completely outrageous!!!

She is the boss.

She is the one responsible.

Baby P died a horrendous death.

SHE is responsible for her department’s failure to act.

SHE takes the ultimate and gets sacked.

The Evening Standard says she is in line for a £1,000,000 pay-out.

Seriously, fuck the fucking fuck off!

And people wonder why nobody gives a flying bollock about the legal system. It’s all about the victim. Unfortunately, the “victim” in all cases are the ones responsible for the crimes.

Thursday, 26 May 2011

What a nice day at work that was….

Got up at 5:17am.

Got to work for 7:30am.

Had 30 minutes for lunch.

Left at 20:15pm.

Got home at 21:38pm.

Expected to work again at this point, but quite frankly get thee to bollocks.

I am much too tired and the fact that I’m listening to some uplifting music and having a nice beer to relax, means everything.

Pity I need to wait to tomorrow to see my doctor and the ologist.

As they say, isn’t it? And everything?

How am I still functioning?

Or am I just dreaming the dreams of a dream?

Sunday, 22 May 2011

The Rise of The Witcher

As Geralt of Rivia, the monster-slayer, I must say I have found some more affinity in my life. Ok, it’s just a game, but the whole thing is so polished it looks incredible. Well done to CDProjeckRED.  A true masterpiece of art.

And you get to see nipples!


Ok, facetious, yes, but it is true. Boobies all over the place and swearing like a schoolyard full of Tourette's sufferers. How I giggle.

Anyway, that’s not the point of this rant….

I’m on about somebody who is falsely accused of committing the most heinous of crimes: regicide. And all those he though were his friends turn against him. Except his lover, Triss. She’s the one with the nipples, by the way. Mmmm.


Life. Life is just what you do between being born and when you die. So why fret about all this and that and everything, isn’t it? Just enjoy yourself. A stone!

I certainly am.

I feel alone right now, but will feel happy tomorrow when my girlfriend comes around to give me a cuddle.

Or was it a bowl of cheerios?

Saturday, 21 May 2011

More odd sayings

From the other day, upon waking I said “No, I don’t want a southern fried chicken drumstick, thank you!”

I must be on crack.

Friday, 20 May 2011

Window on the soul…

They say that the eyes are the window to your soul. And, my God, how true that is…..

Every time I gaze upon thee, I see thy soul. And it shines so brightly as to remove all shadows.

We are.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Well, time to say…

I’ve met somebody. Not just a somebody. But someone. Someone very special indeed. You know those times where you think your life is a mess and you can never see a way out? Well, I was like that. For quite some time. I put a brave face on it, but I hurt inside.

Now, however, I am the happiest guy alive. Really, I really am. I won’t go into any specifics, but my girlfriend is my guiding light. She ignites my heart like never before. I truly have never felt this way about anybody before. Every time I see her I smile the biggest smile and my heart shines like the brightest star. I cherish every fleeting moment together, and feel lost without her. I need her gentle caresses, cuddles and kisses. I am complete.

We were both lost, but fate has brought us together. Such different lives, but yearning for the one. We will be together forever, for even when the last star has turned to darkness, and the universe is void and cold, we will have one another.

From stars we were born. And unto the stars we will return.

Time to say, publically…

I love you.



To my ex-wife, I wish her all the happiness and excitement that her future beholds. I wish that she will be as happy as I am. She deserves nothing less.

Friday, 13 May 2011

Breakfast Fit For The Gods!

Now this is what I call a breakfast!!!!


Not sure there’s enough bacon though. Only 8 rashers there.

I also skimped on the sausages. There were more in the packet.

See, I’m on a diet!

Tram versus Car

Oh dear. My relaxing evening was somewhat disturbed by a violent bit of metal rending. Seems a twonk in a Ford Ka decided the red light stopping cars crossing the tramline was just something of an advisory notice, and nothing else.


Tram 1 – 0 Ka Idiot.


Took about 10 minutes for the services to arrive, which isn’t too bad I suppose.

Sunday, 8 May 2011

More Sayings…

“No, I haven’t got a knife…”

“Oh, my hand’s all numb and it’s my good hand”

Not Ladybird book



Don’t be going Spanish now!

Down with this sort of thing! Spotted in a Spanish restaurant in East London the other day. I had to stop. I had to.


I don’t know what a FAJITAS’S is/are, but I’m sure it will be pretty rancid and smell of fish.

They are mental.

Monday, 2 May 2011

New series! Deranged sayings from The Angry Ranting Man

“No, don’t make me be a black and white horse….”

I have no idea. Maybe I was on crack.