Idiot Town Planners

Hello.

Today's rant will be long and full of gratuitous swearing. The subject is idiot town planners.

I live in a little town called Baldock, which rests in the north of Hertfordshire. The main road is a wide thoroughfare with plenty of parking around the ancient market square. Shops, restaurants and pubs festoon this road. And a whopping huge tescos up the south end of the town. More on this later.

The local twats at the council are not happy with this thriving little town. They want to kill it to deth. Like a frog. So, under the guise of making it "green" and "pedestrianised" they are basically going to close the ample close-to-the-shops parking and generally make right pigs arse about the whole project.

Here's the plan: The bit around the memorial is where the restaurants are. Further down are cafes and whatnot. To the north are takeaways, a bank and butchers etc. Not bad so far. Almost normal.

This is view from the "remodelled roundabout" of the map to the bottom left (ish). See, plenty of parking for the restuarants and the chippy.



And this is a view from the other way (bottom left to top right). See plenty of parking, lots of trees, wide roads, not much traffic. Ideal.



Not if you are a local council planning nazi shithead it isn't. A thriving town? Fucking strangle the bastard, they say. Remove the parking. Replace it with "different parking" and drive every visitor to use the large tesco car park further down the map. Maybe they'll say "Sod it, let's shop in Tesco rather than march 1/3 mile down the road".

Talking of Tesco, walking further down the map, on the left hand side if you were, here's what the new style parking will look like. All rather swish, with the newly laid tarmac and shiny kerbs isn't it. And look yonder in the distance. A bus stop.



And, this will become apparently clear why this image is next, here's a lamppost. To hang town planners from. The gits.



Things to note. 1) It's not in the fucking road. 2) Er, nobody hanging from it yet.

Just after the bus-stop we come across this monstrosity. I mean, for fuck's sake, what's going on here?



I mean, the lamppost is in the middle of the fucking parking area. Did nobody even stop to question this? Were the subcontracting idiots chosen by the council to do the work not ring them up in their plush offices and ask, "Er, Guv. 'scuse me bein' a bit dim an' all, but do you really want this lamppost in the middle of the feckin' road or what?"

What a waste of bloody money!



But from Tesco's point of view, this could be a fantastic opportunity to see the rest of the independent shops in my town close. No parking? No custom, basically.

Our council is Liebour? No, it's Tory. You'd expect something different wouldn't you? But in this EUssr climate, would you really?

Get some nooses ready! We've got lampposts to fill!