ARM’s Film Review : Inception

So, with nothing better to be doing, such as taking kids to Science Museum* today, I thought I’d go see a film. So chose Inception because it got some good reviews.

So, here’s my angry review:

Marketed by my friends as a cerebral version of The Matrix, I was very disappointed. Not only had they removed most of the exciting bits of The Matrix, they had replaced them with the characters spending most of the film either asleep, trying to go to sleep, or dreaming about having a bit of a kip.

I mean, WTF is this? I think the adverts were more entertaining. At least I now know that I shouldn’t be videoing the film using my phone or that I was sitting in a Cineworld cinema. I already realised that, you dozy chumps, given the enormous sodding great big Cineworld sign on the front of the building, the livery and indeed the packets of popcorn.

Ah, anyway. The film. Yes, Leonardo Di Crapio was in it. But this time he had a bit of a beard. So wahay. There goes the makeup effects. Oh, and a very very very very slow van reversing off the side of a bridge, something to do with 8 sleeping people tied together with lamp cord in a lift with no gravity, and exploding buildings on a snowy mountain.

WTF?

Did anybody actually write the script or was it one of those round robin type of things where everybody and their aunty gets to write a paragraph.

And for those who love their films spoiled, well you never know whether it is all Leonardo’s dream or not, maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Want to sit through adverts, film trailers, some idiot** dropping their peanut M&Ms on the floor and shouting “Bollocks!” about 45 minutes into the film, and 2 hours and 28 minutes of people having a bit of a kip? If that’s your idea of a good day out then go make some god damned vinegar and pour it up your nose. So would ARM recommend this?

No. It’s a pile of shite.

 

* which I would’ve done if they didn’t go to bed late and sleep in until 11:45 am.

** that was me.