Sunday, 31 October 2010

Parents: ever felt like going postal at the Teletubbies?

Awesome stuff from a group of parental protestors visiting White City BBC TV studios, yesterday……..

Genetics! Yay!

Hell, this from The Angry Exile sounds like fun!

"I suggest we start by genetically modifying absolutely anything that moves and then anything that doesn't until it begins to move, and we keep going until the bio is so amazingly diverse that people are having to shoot down their breakfast cereal in the mornings after it's smashed its way out of the packet and is flying round the room chasing the cat."

Tuesday, 19 October 2010


More Styles! And with a bit of Breeze also!

I feel you, I want you
I know your touch is all I need
I'm waiting, you're shining

Awe. Sum.

Monday, 18 October 2010

Suicide train balls

On the 2052 train from kings cross to Cambridge when there was an almighty bang followed by blibbleblibblebibllectunchspoing noises. Seems some selfish wanker killed himself and fucked up my train at Welwyn Garden City. Tossed.

One hour delay followed by exciting bit of detraining, walking along the track and getting on another train going as far as bloody Hitchin.


Saturday, 16 October 2010

Mad Wife (Estranged)

Oh god. The pet situation has become even more worser with the impending arrival of 3 guinea pigs and another rabbit. All four on a supposedly temporary basis. Just like the last one, George the rabbit, who has been living with us for 2 years now. But he is cute and cuddly and likes (I suppose) being fussed.

So, here’s the potential furry things:

Does anybody seem to this the above is too much? I certainly do. Sounds like some sort cunning ploy to make me so mad as that I’ll immediately think it better to sleep on a park bench than on my very comfy* sofa.

And I’m expected to spend what time I have when I’m not working to feed all these furry buggers? Oh, I think not.

Maybe I will feed everything to the cats…….


* not comfy.

Sunday, 10 October 2010

WTF Pizza!


What is Sarsage?


And I would love to eat the potato shine. If I knew what the hell it was, of course. Yum. Maybe they can add some sarsage to it.

And to those of you who think I just trawl around the internets looking for spelling errors, well, maybe you have something there.

Animal Watch : With ARM

Hello boys and girls. Today I am going to show you how many animals you can stuff into a small 3 bedroom house before the RSPCA turn up and take them all down to the glue factory.

So, how many will it take?

For example, take this house, which we’ll call ARMville which is occupied by The Man, The Woman, The Big Girl and The Little Girl.

They have:

4 rabbits, 4 cats, 2 rats, 2 hamsters and 3 “dwarf” hamsters. Oh, and a fish.

They are looking to add an indeterminable number of guinnea pigs.

Will this tip the balance?

Wednesday, 6 October 2010


Listen to this and weep, you sad bunch of wumps!

Hixxy rules yet again!

So take me away
When the colours all fade
At the end of the day
When the world is asleep
I'll be living my dream
We're going so deep
Into the night

In black and white we're only silhouettes
Together nothing more and nothing less
Sometimes we must remember to forget

When the sun goes down
I'll be with you………

If you don’t feel uplifted after this then you are a muppet. Or worse.

Sunday, 3 October 2010

ARM’s Film Review : Resident Evil Afterlife (in 3D)

Hello again film fans. Or sad muppets randomly browsing teh interwebs.

Last night I went and say Resident Evil : Afterlife. Now I must admit for being slightly biased here in that I really liked the first film. The second was a bit pants though.

So. Here we go:

For some reason, the whole film is a homage to Duke Nukem. He is teh dude and a super bad villain. I’m all confused now. I think I’ll lie down.

Ok, film starts with Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich, Milla Jovovich and Milla Jovovich all playing as a confusing and never explained series of clone Alices attacking the headquarters of the Umbrella Corporation which is in Tokyo, don’t you know.

Not sure why we are doing this bit, but the whole place goes up (or down) in a really good explodey bit. Nice.

Then the silly Alice goes and flies off to bloody Alaska in the search of the famed “Arcadia” which is all nice and jolly. A bit like a Butlins holiday camp, except for the fact that it is actually a big oil tanker run by Duke Nukem kidnapping and experimenting on hoomans. Anyways, she ends up picking up the rather gorgeous Ali Larter and they both end up crash landing on a prison in Los Angeles which is surrounded by zombies. Cool.

And Wentworth Miller (he of Prison Break fame) is locked up Hannibal Lecter style. Oh the irony. The should’ve paid the script writer extra. Not. Arseholes.

Anyways, lots of stock jump frights and stuff, but the 3D (or £D as I like to call it) is used quite well, in places anyway.

Whole film is SHITE.

So go see it. Just for the Duke.

Saturday, 2 October 2010

ARM’s Film Review : Buried

Well now, if you are looking for realism (even vaguely) don’t go see this movie. There are a number of things wrong with it:

Dude is buried in a rather spacious coffin underground in what’s supposed to be Iraq. And he has his cigarette lighter and, for some reason, a torch, mobile phone and huge angry anteater in there with him.

And of course, you always get a good cellphone connection 6 foot below the surface. In Iraq. Or is it?

Bloody O2 can’t even get me a connection in the house!

So, my overall opinion? Oh what? The story? Ok, same sort of thing that happens to all of us really. Get a phone call from some foreign dude demanding $5m dollars otherwise he’s going to let you die in a coffin. Yeah. Just phone up Noel Edmonds Family Christmas Video Accidents instead and get him to pay it.

Fails miserably on the mobile phone aspect, so it’s SHITE.