The Budget

First of all I would like to say that I have been soo very very aaaaangry recently I have been hospitalised. Actually, my wife locked me in the shed and said that if I didn't calm down she's Bobbit me. Never knew she liked Lord of the Rings.

Ho hum.

Anyways. The Budget. That time of year when a lying bag of crap talks bollocks for about 50 minutes and all decent working people end up coughing up even more of their hard earned cash to sponging scum.

And a chancellor called "Darling". I mean, come on. Is this a Blackadder episode? You seriously cannot report about somebody called Darling without snarling and snearing. Well, I can't.

And what's with this guys hair? Can't he even colour-co-ordinate his eyebrows to his hair? White hair and black eyebrows? What is he, a bloody badger? Apologies if you are eating, but what colour are his pubes? Really sorry. But I had to ask. If you do know, please, for God's sake, keep it to yourself.

So, headlines from the budget:

1. If you are working and not a sponging scum, then more money to be given to sponging scum.
   
2. Old and decrepit? Here's an extra £50 a year fuel allowance. Oh, don't worry about the fact that we've removed the 10% income tax level and you'll now start paying tax at 20%. Oh, and the fuel duty and the fact that oil is now $109 a barrel. Hahah. You'll all be dead!
   
3. Mustn't mention the £100,000,000,000 (that's £100 billion) we pissed up the wall on the Northern Rock. Gotta save our northern Labour voters.
4. We'll just borrow a few more billions to balance the books. After all, credit is safe. There isn't a credit crisis.
5. We forecast that... blah blah bollocks we can. Just look at this table:

Holey shitbags, batman!! They were estimating 4 billion in 2003/4 and ended up with 35.4 billion. If I were that inaccurate at my job I'd be saying "Would you like fries with that?" faster than you can say Sub Prime. And they are estimating 20 Billion for 2007/8. So, with the monumental bollocks previously done this is likely to be £175 Billion.

Time to buy gold.

Oh, but Brown sold all of our gold for around $250 an ounce. What's today's price? Oh yes, just over $1,000. Nice.

As my very good and also very angry fellow blogger, Devil's Kitchen, would say, "Hang them! Hang them all!"

1.