What is it with me?
Not only do I get propositioned in the loos at a night club in Stockwell, now I’m being frottaged on the train from Vauxhall to Clapham Junction at 0716 in the morning!!!! On a bloody Sunday!
A mental person (obviously a clubber as he was rather worse for wear and smelled rather of beers and that smoky thing I sniffed at East Croydon....) decided I was his bestest mate.
Kept saying “Awesome venue!” on the train at Vauxhall and rubbing his knees against me!!!!! Hoped to avoid him, but he got off at Clapham (platform 4) and walked very close to me all the way to platform 15 (I was varying my speed....) where he said “Oh, aren’t you coming with me to the exit?” I said “Er, no. I am going to CroyDon” and he said “You sure you don’t want to come with me and have fun?”
I said “No, I’ve got a girlfriend and everything.”
He replied “Ok, take care mate!” and tried to hug me!!!!! So I just shook his hand and said “Laters, man” and he seemed happy with that and went wandering off. I might have got lucky there!
But I already am the luckiest man on the planet. Ever been on the planet. Oh yes. For I have my Clar Ni Broin! All snuggly and cuddly!