If you have happiness, then bloody well hold onto it. Don’t let it slip.
And, as I’m probably in the very very exciting Norbury Pub for some reason, then please let me go home before 4am so I can luxuriate in the nice new memory foam mattress that arrived today. We have a nice big joint of the beefs for dinner, you know.
And I’m going to be having a party around February time. And for good reason!
Fuckers.
So they are supposed to be working on Boxing Day as well. My poor Clare is working Christmas Day and Boxing Day. And she pays tax on reclaiming her taxi fares.
The lovely tube drivers get a nice deal, don’t you think?
As far as I am concerned, they are very very very overpaid and the sooner they are replaced by electronics the better.
Wankers.
Oh that reminds me of this:
http://www.backingblair.co.uk/london_underground/
Always good for a laugh…..
As our useless overlords in Parliament pronounce they are shocked, I tell you, that they are being forced to accept a 11% increase in their salaries, they say that they won’t take this. Or at least two of them do. Meanwhile, they are very cross with it all, as these pictures illustrates quite nicely:
Makes you want to hang the fuckers from lampposts, doesn’t it?
But to cheer you up, here’s a picture of Boris:
Good old Boris.
What a spastic.
Well, my girlfriend was seriously delayed going to work on Tuesday following an “accident” between a cyclist and a bus. Guess who won?
I’m not being fatuous.
Check out the pics and also a very telling comment…
Yes, the cyclist cut across in front of the bus.
Probably didn’t want to use the cyclepath that was available and too keen to get to where he wanted to go that he risked death… and lost.
Now, although I think cyclists are completely evil and deserve everything they get, I do have to chuckle about this NY guy making a rather good point….
As they say, you must “ALWAYS RIDE IN THE BIKE LANE”….
Ho ho ho.
Yep, the lovely overlord masters of the EU are telling us we can’t have nice vacuum cleaners anymore. According to the papers, the maximum power for things that keep our homes nice and clean is to be reduced to 900 watts.
FFS.
Next up will be kettles. Yep, our fast boil kettles will be reduced to those rubbish travel ones that takes about 30 minutes to heat up a small cup of water, by which time you have given up on tea and hit the gin.
Sorry about that. Just lots of fun and stuff happening. Parties, swimming in the sea, that sort of thing.
Still hope to announce something very very important soon.
Stay tuned!
Only at least 95 million killed. Much more than the Nazis, who were also lefties, but for some reason classified as Right Wing.
Click the above for more info.
Anyway, there you go.
And if you want more numbers, check here it’s much much worse.
I don’t like to swear, you know I don’t. But fucking hell what the arsebiscuits have they done to the “remake” of the classic film?
vs 
They say they “reimagined” it. Oh god they really did a good job on that front, I can tell you. Imagine all the best bits from the Arnie film, all the sarcastic lines, the violence, JohnnyCabs and the relentless persecution of the Martian mutants.
Got that?
Good.
Now replace all those with a pile of steaming shite that has nothing to do with mars or mutants but instead a completely bullshit pile of drivel about only two places left on the planet after somebody left a can of baked beans open in the fridge too long: New Federation of Britain, and The Colony. The Colony being Australia. And linked to the former by a bloody tunnel through the earth’s core no less that people commute through to work building robots that have been lifted straight from I, Robot but only more shit.
The girl with the three boobies was introduced about 10 minutes into the remake. Why? I don’t fucking know. The original you could say yes she was mutated and thus had more boobies, but why now? Is it a fashion statement or something? Original he was in a sleazy bar, full of mutated Martians. The new one just came up to him in a future Tescos and flashed him some tits. WTF?
Me, a prefer the original boobies (right hand pic). The new boobies look very saggy. A lot like the script.
And the special effects, although far more swish in this new version, are completely fucking pointless. They are only there to make you go “Oh, a special effect. How marvellous” rather than actually meshing with the plot.
Oh, the plot. Fuck that, the producers/writers must have thought. Let’s just have Colin Farrell, who obviously did something very very bad and has to do community service to pick up this piece of shit voluntarily, running around like a spastic. Completely unable to act. The new Lori, the lovely Kate Beckinsale, must have been really really really desperate for film time. The original had no qualms in killing off Sharon Stone’s version about 3/4 way through. Now they have to keep everybody alive until the end.
And Cohagen? Original, a true bastard; a manipulating scheming son of a bitch. The new one? Oh, I forgot. He was so tame and bland I would rather force my face into a threshing machine than actually waste 5 minutes looking up the arsehole’s name.
And the rebel leader? Yes, Bill Nighy. Yep, and when he got killed I was so happy, mainly because the film was nearing the end.
Strapline on new film should have read: “Is it real or is it recall? no, neither, it’s shite”
Would I pay good money for this remake? No way. Utter shitey bollocks.
