Saturday 9 February 2008

London Underground Waste

If you have ever travelled on the tube (London Underground) you will have immediately noticed one or all of the following things:

  1. There's a bloke carrying a little white lollypop-type stick with a cross on the top. His "job" is to stand around until the signal goes green and then hold this stick in the air for around 20 seconds. For this strenuous job, he'll probably get paid about £20,000. All all these people together and see how much cheaper your ticket would be without doing with his great service. Whatever it is.
  2. Vast numbers of staff whose "job" is to "hang around". They chat with each other about TV from the previous evening etc, usually around the ticket barriers. Although large numbers are now seen crowding around the entrances where they can iratite the shit out of passengers by closing the gates and stopping entry due to "Health And Safety".
  3. Inaudable announcements from people whose first language (or second, or third...) isn't English. These announcements are helped on by being mumbled when a train is approaching the platform. Luckily, the announcements are usually of the type that is bloody obvious to all but the very very stupid: the train is going east/west/north/south and calls at all stations to bloody somewhere. Of course it is. The platform says where the train is going and the little display board tells you how long until it turns up.
  4. The ticket seller behind the little window (if it is open for business, that is) is slower than a retarded snail that's been nailed to a plank. "I'd like a return to Acton Town please" elicits the kind of slow and pained facial expression had I dropped my trousers and done a crap in the Metro newspaper stand.
  5. Idiotic drivers announcements (when they can be bothered to make any) saying "Move down the carriages and make use of all available space". Well, listen here chummy: We can't make use of ALL available space as we'd be in the fecking luggage racks. And of course we're going to move down. I don't want to be next to some fettid hairy dole-scrounging scumbag, and I'm certainly not going to stand in the doorway with a massive suitcase strapped to my back.
Just wait until I get onto my other favourite subject to gormless nobheads who pull "suitcases" on wheels!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

and selfish commuters that swing their bags round knocking any little kid off their feet because it is all about me me me and who cares thete may be someone behind/next to me